What is the proper etiquette when hosting this shower?

I was a little hurt that one of my best friends didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid, even though her fiance` asked my husband to be in it. Despite that fact, I still wanted to throw her a shower. Her maid of honor and one bridesmaid live out of town. (I live out of town as well, but I at least grew up in the town where she is marrying, so I feel comfortable planning a shower long distance.) Her other two bridesmaids are her sisters, one which is too young to know about such events, and the other who doesn't really seem to care for her sister (the bride) much at all. I told her I wanted to throw her a shower, and she was ecstatic. I know traditionally the maid of honor or bridesmaids will host one and all pitch in on the money, and they can still throw her one if they want to (at her college, lingerie, etc). My question is who do I ask to help throw this one? Is it her maid of honor and bridesmaids, our other close friends, family members? Are there any other etiquette rules?

What is the proper etiquette when hosting this shower?
Forget the rules, since you are woman enough to tuck away your disappointment in not being in the bridal party, and have the kindness to do this, ask your mother or some of YOUR close friends to assist you with this. You are sweet to do this and I think one heck of a sport to do so.
Reply:Before volunteering, you should have spoke with the Mother of the bride and said do you think we could co-host a shower, If the other bridesmaid and maid of honor live out of town then what is their role? If they are invited and can come then they should contrbute to the cost, You never should have taken responsibility for a shower when you have nothing to do with the wedding party. Very foolish on your part. Now you'll probably get stuck with the cost. Unless you go to the brides mother and explain, what did your husband think about this? If your not good enough to be in the wedding I would have sat back and waited for a invitation to a shower, if one never came, oh well, not your fault.


Good Luck with this, your going to need it, and a loan.


And by the way, Bridesmaids and maid of honor are responsible but nothing says if they can't afford it that the family can't contribute.. Maybe she just assumed they would be more responsible.. You should definately let her know how you feel after the wedding and how she made you feel, and of course she was estatic.. GIFTS..
Reply:Bridal showers should be thrown by friends, not family. It looks tacky for the bride's family to be hosting a shower, like they're "fishing" for gifts. Otherwise, you're right about the maid of honor %26amp; bridesmaids throwing the shower. You're one nice friend to overlook the snub in not being invited as a bridesmaid. If it were me, and I'm apparently more petty, I would leave it up to the ladies she asked to be in her wedding party. She picked them, let her have the shower they put together.
Reply:Sorry, but Old Lady's answer about bridesmaids is wrong. A bridesmaid can be either married or single. A Maid of Honor is single, and a Matron of Honor is married.





But since none of that applies to you, why not ask another close friend or two to help you give the shower? And invite the people who won't be going to the one the bridesmaids will be giving.





If you are friends with the ones giving the other shower, ask what their plans are. Which city they are going to hold it in, etc. Then you will know who to invite, too. It isn't proper for her family to be involved in giving the shower. Just don't invite 100 people!
Reply:First of all, you couldn't have been a bridesmaid because you are a married woman. You could have been matron of honor, unless she had already filled that position, but bridesmaids are unmarried. According to tradition they are supposed to be virgins, but we'll let that one pass.


As far as the shower, there are no rules. You may do whatever your generous heart dictates. You don't need anyone to help you give the shower, but it is traditional to invite the women in the wedding party, the bride's and groom's mothers, and beyond that, anyone you wish.


Enjoy the shower,enjoy the wedding,and don't sweat the small stuff. It's too festive an occasion to let it be spoiled by something that really doesn't matter that much.


PS: Offer to be godmother for her first child!
Reply:Ask the maid of honor and bridesmaids if you can help with the shower...
Reply:You over-stepped the line. The bridesmaids are supposed to have the shower. This was just your way of weaseling into the wedding. You should host it by yourself. Don't ask for money. You wanted this, now you have it. Enjoy.